this evening at the clam the job video was played and then the stupid peer pressure video.
this was not so odd.
however on the last elijah section pictures from the imitate their faith book was place on screen to imagine the scenes.
I'm embarrassed to say that I memorized the first 50 new kingdom maladies before I woke up. I didn't just drink the cool-aide, I bathed and swam in it and spit it out like a fountain.
But hey! On the upside, my capacity to memorize lots of useless information is the tops :)
why must these people be figurative walls when talking about the lies of the jw cult?.
the other day, i had a conversation with my mother.
we started talking about the election and how the candidates differ (me being a supporter of bernie).
At least you know that you really tried. You approached her like a reasonable human being, gave her a chance to give a logical argument. All she could do was toss back the party lines.
It bites to lose the people we love. Even if we don't get DF'd, there's a mental/emotional connection we never get back. I don't blame my folks anymore. I see them as victims of a virulent and manipulative ideology. If I were ever in proximity to the GB though... well... it would be hard to stay civil
i'm writing this here because i need someone to talk to, and you're the only folks i know who will understand.
most of the time i think i'm a pretty happy and together person, but lately, i'll see something that reminds me of my family and i'll spontaneously start crying.
i miss them so much and my heart keeps breaking, and even though i have kind people i work and volunteer with, i feel so incredibly lonely sometimes.
Thank you so much for everyone's kind words. Sorry it took me a little while to respond. I had been feeling incredibly down lately, and I really appreciate all the thoughtful responses and ideas.
Maybe this is magical thinking, but I believe all of the goodwill and well wishes from here really did something. After I posted, I went for a walk, I stopped to get some coffee and strangely I found a person to talk to. I met a man who had been through the foster care system. We talked about how hard it can be to make it without a family. I realized that as tough as things are, I'm pretty damn lucky; to be alive, to be healthy, to not have addictions.
When we're Witnesses, they teach us that it's wrong to have dreams, that it's wrong to want something for yourself. When I left, I didn't have any hopes or dream or hobbies, I just had a strong will to survive and be free. Well, I've sort of got those things but it's not really enough.
So here's my first real dream: Someday I'm going to create a charity that helps people who've lost their social support; whether it's because they've left a cult, or left an abusive family, or found themselves starting over late in life. It will help connect them with the resources they need as well as psychological support. I have no idea how I'm going to do it, but I've begun reading about 501c3's and I'm declaring my major as business next semester.
Maybe this is a sign that even though I've left the cult, I haven't left the programming of needing to save the world. But, I don't really care, it's what I'd like to do, and I may as well put all this trauma to good use.
Thanks for caring about me, and caring about my existence. I'm doing better, the world is looking a little less dark today.
I'm going to go find something funny to watch, and laugh a little. I hope you have peace wherever you are.
Love, Miss B
i'm writing this here because i need someone to talk to, and you're the only folks i know who will understand.
most of the time i think i'm a pretty happy and together person, but lately, i'll see something that reminds me of my family and i'll spontaneously start crying.
i miss them so much and my heart keeps breaking, and even though i have kind people i work and volunteer with, i feel so incredibly lonely sometimes.
Hi again,
I'm writing this here because I need someone to talk to, and you're the only folks I know who will understand. Most of the time I think I'm a pretty happy and together person, but lately, I'll see something that reminds me of my family and I'll spontaneously start crying. I miss them so much and my heart keeps breaking, and even though I have kind people I work and volunteer with, I feel so incredibly lonely sometimes.
The last few days, I've felt a strong desire to go back. Except that deep down, I know I can't. I can't un-know what I know, I can't lie to myself or to them. But sometimes it's so tempting to. I long to call them just to hear their voices again, even if it's them being angry or guilt-inducing with me.
My days have been merging together into long stretches of work and sleep. Sometimes I wonder what the point of fighting so hard is, what the point to existence is. Last month, I injured myself and at the hospital, there was no one close enough to me to be concerned. It sort of drove the point home for me that my existence has so little impact that if I disappeared tomorrow, no one would miss me. No one would be sad.
I'm sorry to be so depressing,I know everyone on here has their own sorrows.
I guess I'm hoping you'll share with me what meaning and joy you've found in your lives since you've left. I could use some hope.
with love, Miss B
imagine the best case scenario.
the watchtower society implodes from within even making final printed admissions that it is voluntarily dismantling it's mission and legally dissolving the corporations.
oh happy day!
I'd welcome them. Even though they weren't the nicest of folks when I left, I would love to have a family again.
i have talked to him ttat.
and he understands.
he doesn't wanna be a jw.
I am very moved by your story. You're fighting so hard for your family, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I wish you the best of luck with helping them escape.
I hardly feel qualified to give any advice, but is there anything non-cultish your wife loves? Singing, painting, films, walks, animals? I think my love of books helped me develop a personality away from the cult. Again, good luck!
allow me to begin with a clarification: when i say i am one of jehovah's witnesses, i don't mean that i am an advocate of the watchtower society or a devotee of some of its more controversial false teachings.
i mean that i am a christian, a disciple of jesus christ dedicated to jehovah god, and who remains in union with my brothers and sisters who make up the family of faith that globally refers to itself as jehovah's witnesses.
some totally understand the distinction between the family of brothers and sisters and the corporate organization known as the watchtower society (wts).
Hello
There's a study which took groups of Republicans and Democrats and rearranged them so that each group was made up of a ratio of 9:1. One person of the opposing party would be in each group. They wanted to see if that 1 would give into the social pressure of being out numbered. What they actually found was that the person who had to defend their beliefs alone tested more extreme in their beliefs afterwards and had a much more negative view of the opposing party then they began with.
I think you've experienced something akin to this effect on this board, where the opposing view easily outnumbers you 100:1.
It's a shame, because there were many kind and compassionate posts on this thread directed towards you, not any of mine, but the ones above your previous post.
Personally, I misunderstood you, I thought your motivation for posting on an apostate site was to be challenged, to see if your ideals could stand up to a beating. So, I didn't hold back. My motives weren't hatred of you by any means. More for the fun and mental game of it.
I'm going to move along to a more productive pursuit now. Wishing you well anyways.
allow me to begin with a clarification: when i say i am one of jehovah's witnesses, i don't mean that i am an advocate of the watchtower society or a devotee of some of its more controversial false teachings.
i mean that i am a christian, a disciple of jesus christ dedicated to jehovah god, and who remains in union with my brothers and sisters who make up the family of faith that globally refers to itself as jehovah's witnesses.
some totally understand the distinction between the family of brothers and sisters and the corporate organization known as the watchtower society (wts).
Ah, one more thought: A certain Jesus and John the Baptist had some spicy words to say about the abusive religious leaders of their time. Perhaps if you had been there Brother J, they would have had more peace in their hearts about it. :D
Ok, sleep time now
allow me to begin with a clarification: when i say i am one of jehovah's witnesses, i don't mean that i am an advocate of the watchtower society or a devotee of some of its more controversial false teachings.
i mean that i am a christian, a disciple of jesus christ dedicated to jehovah god, and who remains in union with my brothers and sisters who make up the family of faith that globally refers to itself as jehovah's witnesses.
some totally understand the distinction between the family of brothers and sisters and the corporate organization known as the watchtower society (wts).
Brother J,
Thank you for pointing out that my analogy was unclear. I apologize for not being more explicit. By the Nazi government, I did mean the Watchtower Society, Adolf- obviously the GB, but by the German people, I meant Christianity.
You make the JWs out to be your only brotherhood, comparable to a German Citizen believing that only his particular political party held the solutions for his country. Can you only find brotherhood in a cult? Why not make all who embrace goodness, our heavenly father, and the Holy Bible your family? Or better yet, could you expand your heart to include all of mankind?
Ugh, I'm too sleepy to finish pulling my thoughts together. Time for me to take off my swastika arm band and call it a night. :P pleasant dreams.
allow me to begin with a clarification: when i say i am one of jehovah's witnesses, i don't mean that i am an advocate of the watchtower society or a devotee of some of its more controversial false teachings.
i mean that i am a christian, a disciple of jesus christ dedicated to jehovah god, and who remains in union with my brothers and sisters who make up the family of faith that globally refers to itself as jehovah's witnesses.
some totally understand the distinction between the family of brothers and sisters and the corporate organization known as the watchtower society (wts).
When I say that I'm a Nazi, I don't wish to convey that I'm an admirer of Hitler or devotee of the 3rd Reich. Some would over simplify my beliefs and not make the distinction between a zealot, and what I am; some one who sincerely believes that National Socialism is what's best for the German People.
Some have forsaken the fatherland, and I do not judge them for seeking safety elsewhere. But we should not forget that it hasn't been ALL bad. The Furer lifted this nation out of a depression, revitalized manufacturing, encouraged health, prosperity and culture.
Not all SS officers were bad, and I for one, choose to stay with my homeland. My beloved brothers and sisters of a united Germany.
I believe in the new and better world that was promised by National Socialism. A world of peace and plenty. A world where mankind could finally reach perfection.
And I am not alone. All true lovers of the German people are with me in this belief.
---------------
Ok, I know it's bad form to compare a group to the Nazi's. It's distasteful and over-done. But you know that they say; if the iron heeled jack-boot fits.....
To support the earthly paradise doctrine is to support the largest potential genocide in human history. Even if we take the kinder, gentler version of this teaching; that only the wicked will be destroyed, and 'we would not presume to judge' who that would be, the WTS has noted that the military and government is a part of that number. Also religious leaders, apostates, and the children of the above. How many would that be out of almost 8 billion? Armageddon could easily overtake the Holocaust in it's horror.
I honor your freedom to believe in whatever you wish, but I find it rather unsettling that some you subscribe to a belief system that wishes me dead. For all my harsh words, I would never wish any kind of harm to the JWs here or to their kin. I don't think any individual Witnesses wish me harm either, but harm would be what resulted from their beliefs becoming true.
Most JWs aren't bad. Most Nazi's didn't know about the camps. It's not the people but the system and ideology that concerns me.
